Day 1 of Blog: 1,563 of searching

Last Friday, April 16th I finally had an interview at an institute of higher learning. I am still waiting to hear from them. This has been my first opportunity to get out of the classroom in four years. I felt like it went well but I really can't tell since I am still waiting. This job would be exactly what I am looking for and if it comes through my searching will be over and this blog will be short lived.

The School Day: 7 out of 10
(The scale is 1-10, 1 being a horrible day, lots of stress, chaos and 10 being the best day ever, everything went smoothly, no stress at all, perfect learning all day)

1st: State Testing is this week but doesn't disrupt the classes too bad. It did cause my first period to be much smaller than usual. Since there were only six in there so I had them work on review material, no new material since most were out. They were good and did what they should have. I do have a lovey, dovey couple in there that I feel like I am constantly have to separate: one of those you would say "get a room" if it wasn't high school!

2nd: My big talktaive class. They are so ready for summer and do not care anything about what we are doing. The topics are getting long and boring because they are a year long class. When they come in and know I am in no mood to play they are good but get bored really easy. This time of year is the most difficult for me, I have a hard time getting motivated so how in the world do I get them motivated? The only positive thing is its a short class, time goes by pretty fast and they do their work, they do want good grades!

3rd: My smallest class smartest kids. Two very immature boys in there and we are just at the point, lets wrap this class up. It's a hard class and even though they are smart and good they don't want to learn any more either. The good thing with them is that I have the rest of the year planned out for them already and they have a copy of this plan so they work on their assignments each week since it's now a review for them. I can do that for this class only.

4th: My second big talkative class, lunch time too. They are good kids and do listen for about 20 minutes that's it. I better say what they need to know within that 20 minutes after lunch and that's it, the rest they have to do. My only complaint is that they get too loud. They work hard and work together but get off task and want to stop too early. I have found several small mini projects for them work the best. It is a long class so it's a challenge.

5th: My slowest class, end of day, very low level most discipline problems. The discipline has gotten a lot better with this class but there are still some in there that don't like the word "no" and will show out when they are told no but for the most part that has stopped. What has never stopped is the fact they do not want to be there, they are LAZY, they are quick to give up and say they can't do it. Very low level! A great way to end the day. This is a short class but might as well be a long day. They have about a 10-15 minute attention span if I'm that lucky. The best way to deal with them is give them lots of easy work. One came in with a bag of chips and dip she got from a student in the hall who had a party. I had to take it and of course that meant no so she had to show her little attitude. I won though, I put it up and all that was harmed was a desk slightly moved out of line.

Teaching, A true calling?

Ask any teacher who has been teaching for years and are still loving it: It's a calling! I totally agree. It has to be a calling to be a teacher, no matter what you teach or who you teach.

Obviously, it was not my calling. It was a decision I made in college, hey I will go on and get my teaching certification in case I can't find a job doing anything else.

My History
Shortly after I graduated from college my first job offer came along. They were desperate for a teacher, I just had a baby and needed a job. It was a small private school and although I had no experience I figured I could handle a small private school, how bad could the kids be?

What kills me in the classroom is my classroom management skills. They suck! I don't know how to get better either. I have gotten a lot better but I still suck at it for the most part. I get stressed because of it and I want out of the classroom because of it. It doesn't come naturally to me like it does to good teachers.

I stayed at the private school for 2 school years and after that second year, they knew my classroom management skills sucked and they found someone better. You would think that would have ended my days in the classroom but nooo. I thought long and hard and wanted a different job but unless I wanted to work at McDonald's or a Grocery Store it wasn't going to happen. Guess what? Another teaching job!

The second job was a small public school. I heard a lot of good things about the school and they needed a teacher. I convinced myself to get better and took the job. My first year there was really pretty good. It had its ups and downs but I held up ok and made it through, they wanted me back so I must be doing something right. This kept on for 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 years. Must be what I am going to do the rest of my life.

Something clicked:

As time went on something wasn't right, I was not happy this is not what I want to be doing so I went back to school. I got my master's but now what? Still in the classroom.

Another Out:

My husband had been not happy in his own career and was going through some changes himself. Yes, my way out a move! Surely the move and a master's degree will get me out of the classroom. NOT!

We moved to another state, I transferred my teaching certificate but went on a search for something outside of the classroom. Again, a teaching job came up, again they needed someone and at that point I needed a job. So here I am again teaching in a typical high school classroom and I took this last teaching position with the main goal to find a job outside of the classroom. I am still searching for that!

Will I ever find my place outside of the classroom

What am I doing?

Hi there! This first blog will include my background information, what I am doing and why.

I am a high school teacher and this blog will include details of everything I go through and my honest thoughts about it all. This will require me to remain anonymous and will be known as Mrs. X only. I will not give my location, name or other details that would identify myself. I will not use real names of students, faculty, staff, or anyone else associated with my school. In fact, I will not use the real name of my school at any time.

I hope this blog will be informative in such a different, honest way and show some of what teachers deal with on a daily basis. Every teacher is different, every school is different so my views will probably be different from a lot of other teachers. My situation is also unique because I am trying to get out of the classroom yet remain in education.

My title: Confessions of a burned out teacher because I am burned out, I do not like being in the classroom and will be honest and blunt about my true feelings. I am not willing to quit teaching to get just any ole job so my quest to find a profession in the educational field outside the high school classroom is my goal. I have been a high school teacher since 1998 nonstop so something has kept me there this long. I am not a bad teacher, I am not the best teacher. I am quick to admit that I could be a much better teacher if that is what I really wanted to do.

I hope I will give everyone that reads this an inside look into my life and get something out of it that they can use.