Teaching, A true calling?

Ask any teacher who has been teaching for years and are still loving it: It's a calling! I totally agree. It has to be a calling to be a teacher, no matter what you teach or who you teach.

Obviously, it was not my calling. It was a decision I made in college, hey I will go on and get my teaching certification in case I can't find a job doing anything else.

My History
Shortly after I graduated from college my first job offer came along. They were desperate for a teacher, I just had a baby and needed a job. It was a small private school and although I had no experience I figured I could handle a small private school, how bad could the kids be?

What kills me in the classroom is my classroom management skills. They suck! I don't know how to get better either. I have gotten a lot better but I still suck at it for the most part. I get stressed because of it and I want out of the classroom because of it. It doesn't come naturally to me like it does to good teachers.

I stayed at the private school for 2 school years and after that second year, they knew my classroom management skills sucked and they found someone better. You would think that would have ended my days in the classroom but nooo. I thought long and hard and wanted a different job but unless I wanted to work at McDonald's or a Grocery Store it wasn't going to happen. Guess what? Another teaching job!

The second job was a small public school. I heard a lot of good things about the school and they needed a teacher. I convinced myself to get better and took the job. My first year there was really pretty good. It had its ups and downs but I held up ok and made it through, they wanted me back so I must be doing something right. This kept on for 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 years. Must be what I am going to do the rest of my life.

Something clicked:

As time went on something wasn't right, I was not happy this is not what I want to be doing so I went back to school. I got my master's but now what? Still in the classroom.

Another Out:

My husband had been not happy in his own career and was going through some changes himself. Yes, my way out a move! Surely the move and a master's degree will get me out of the classroom. NOT!

We moved to another state, I transferred my teaching certificate but went on a search for something outside of the classroom. Again, a teaching job came up, again they needed someone and at that point I needed a job. So here I am again teaching in a typical high school classroom and I took this last teaching position with the main goal to find a job outside of the classroom. I am still searching for that!

Will I ever find my place outside of the classroom